


What I Want For Christmas

by simplymoa



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplymoa/pseuds/simplymoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's that time of the year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Want For Christmas

It has been almost a year. Almost a year since the last time Adam touched him, kissed him, told him he love him. Almost a year. Adam fidgeted over and over with the radio, changing stations. Adam remembered how he had always hated it when Adam repeatedly changed stations like that. “Written All Over My Face”. No, Adam could not stand to listen to listen to that song. He could not stand to listen to him singing how he was doing the best he could. Adam used to believe him. He used to see his feelings all over his face, but no, he _thought_ he saw love in his face, but it was not there. He did not love him. It was a lie. He lied. It was too much. He changed the station again. He had to keep moving. “These Boots Are Made For Walking”. Adam had just done that. He had finally started walking. He had walked over him. He had left. Adam sighed and pressed down harder on the accelerator with his boots.

Nobody knew where Adam was, and he liked that. His mom knew he was away and he had asked her to only call him if there was an emergency. He was all alone for Christmas. No fans. No media. No MTV. No family. He felt bad about that, about being away from his loved ones, but he needed the time alone. No fake friends, no fan up in his face asking him to pose for pictures. Adam often wondered if the fans had noticed how he never smiled in those pictures lately. No Manger up in his business telling him what to do.

Nobody knew where Kris was headed. New York. Upstate New York. Peaceful. Deserted. Snow-covered. Only another hour and Adam would be there. Alone, at the house no one knew about. Not even his family. He had just called his mom, told her he would be away for a while, got into the car, and drove all the way from LA. Nothing else to do. No TV Appearance. No Concert. No Commitment. A new song came on.

 _I’m gone_  
The ground is shaking under  
Fell like the world  
May all come crashing down  
Now your words  
And sorrys have no meaning  
Baby you You turned it on  
Wasn’t my imagination  
So dumb  
Let you play with emotions  
Baby you lied  
If this isn’t love  
What did feel inside  
It this ain’t  
Love  
How could you look in my eyes *  
 

 

_Yes, Kris. How could you?_

No Kris and damn! That thought hurt Adam. No Kris to shower with Christmas gifts, or wake up with on Christmas morning. Oh how the Christmas would be complete if Kris was still with him. Oh how Adam just wanted Kris for Christmas. He remembered last year. Last year, he had gotten drunk with Tommy. The Christmas before that Kris confessed his feelings for him. Oh God! Just thinking about that day was _still_ like a knife in his heart. He wondered if Kris realized. He wondered if Kris could see what he had done to him. If he did, he never showed it. It had been almost a year and they had never spoken about it again. Kris used to be his best friend, yet he could not see how shattered Adam’s heart was. No! He had to get over Kris. He had to move on. He had to keep moving.

He had to stop. He had to stop crying for Kris. He had a week to be alone and work it out. Adam glanced down at the box on the passenger seat and bit his lip. He prayed for strength and for courage. He had to be strong enough to do it. To throw it all away. The pictures. The presents. The memories. Everything. He had to do it. He had to move on. He had to survive. He had to let go of all the sadness, all the heartache. He had to keep moving.

He was finally there. Adam looked at the house. Dark. Cold. Closed up. Quiet. Just the way he had left it that fall. The place was his shelter. It was where he always took shelter when he had too much burden on his shoulders. It was where he would always go when he wanted to be left alone. It was where he would always turn to when he just wanted to lay down and cry. He used to do all that with Kris when they were together. He used to bring Kris there, to that house, when they wanted to just be, away from the whole world and just be together. He just wasn’t there with Adam anymore. He simply just wasn’t there. Adam grabbed his bag and the box off of the front seat.

Once inside, Adam shed his leather coat, dropped his bag and headed upstairs to the bedroom. It was time. There was a fireplace in there. For the longest time, Adam just stood there, with his eyes shut, and just held the box. He wanted to open it, but he couldn’t...not until he was ready to burn the items inside. Finally, he opened the door and froze.

The fire was already burning as were a bunch of candles, and in the middle of it all sat Kris, watching him with nervous eyes. Adam couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move. For a moment, Adam felt like he was hallucinating. He closed his eyes and opened them again. Kris was still here.

“Adam, I know you’re surprised to see me,” Kris started softly, standing up and moving closer, “But I think this is my last chance.”

His eyes were so dark. They burned straight through Adam to his heart, to his soul. Kris’s perfect skin seemed to glow in the soft candlelight. Oh how Adam yearned to touch him. Kris stopped a few feet in front of Adam. Oh how Adam just wanted to hold him, bury his face in Kris’s neck and wrap his arms around Kris. Oh how Adam wanted to lose himself in Kris, in his embrace, how he wanted to breathe in the mingled scents of his cologne and his masculinity and just stay there forever. Instead, Adam stood perfectly still, clutching his box of memories and stared at Kris.

“I’m sorry Adam,” Kris whispered, his chocolate brown eyes filling with tears, those sculpted lips trembling.

“For what?”

_Please don’t cry, Kris._

“For what I’ve put you through.”

“What are you talking about? You never seemed to care before. Why the hell are you here anyway?”

“I was scared Adam. She would be able to make all of their dreams come true, and I didn’t want to let them down.”

“Who?”

“My parents, my family. I love them. I didn’t want to hurt them. Marriage, children...the perfect life. That’s what they wanted. What they convinced me I wanted. And for awhile I believed it. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find happiness, and then I realized that I…that I had it and I had just given it up.”

“Kris,-”

“Please Adam, let me finish. I need to.”

Adam nodded. Kris took a deep breath, shut his eyes and then opened them again.

“When I said I had given up my happiness. I meant...you Adam. You were my happiness.”

_Oh God Kris, NO! Don’t you dare do something like this to me! Not now. Now today. I was finally going to put you behind me today. Don’t!_

“I gave you up because you couldn’t make their dreams come true. You wouldn’t give them what they wanted for me, but you made my dreams come true. All of them. You made my life complete.”

Kris was crying...and so was Adam.

“Damn it! No one knew about us. Sure, the fans had their suspicions. They had their dreams that we would be together. They just never realized how close to the truth their fantasies are, and then there was Katy, and it was easier to just pretend, to just say yes. ‘Yes mom, I like her’. ‘Yes dad, I’ll ask her to marry me’. All of that was so easy because it was empty. Telling you it was over though was the hardest thing I ever did, because...I broke my own heart as well as yours, and Adam, I wanted to reach out to you, I did. But I couldn’t.”

Kris paused to catch his breath and get his shaking voice under control. Adam knew it all had to be a dream. That was the only logical explanation. Then Kris touched him. He moved forward and tentatively put a hand on Adam’s arm. Adam jumped as if he had been burnt. Kris then reached up and wiped away Adam’s tears.

“Adam,” Kris whispered, letting his hands rest on Adam’s shoulders, “I’ve stopped lying now.”

Adam looked at Kris curiously, not understanding.

“I told everyone the truth. I told Katy I didn’t really love her. I never had...I just thought I did, and I told my family. They flipped,” Kris stopped and looked down, “That was a week ago and I...I haven’t heard from them since. Adam, I…I think I lost them.”  
Kris’s voice broke on his last couple words, and his eyes clouded with tears. Adam felt horrible. He knew how much Kris loved his family. What a big part of his life they were.

“But Adam,” Kris continued once he had his voice under control. “I’d do it again, I would. It feels wonderful, not having to lie anymore. Hopefully someday, they’ll forgive me, but,-”

“Kris, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t do anything wrong. But Kris, um...why now? Why did you tell them?”

“Because I miss you, and I...Adam, I wanted to make things right with you. What I did to you was awful. I wanted to beg your forgiveness. When you weren’t home and I couldn’t find you, I had to pry the information out of your mom. She caved in when I would write a song just about her,” Adam smiled slightly, “There’s one more thing Adam,” Kris dropped his hands from Adam’s shoulders. Adam had forgotten they were there. “Katy and I are getting a divorce.”

The words hit Adam like lightning. He brought both hands to his heart; forgetting the box in one. It clattered to the floor and spilled open. Kris reached for it. Quickly surveying the contents of it, he met Adam’s eyes with a look of sadness.

“I was going to burn them,” Adam whispered, “I came up here to get over you. I...it hurt too much to love you. I had to put an end to it. But now you’re here, and I don’t...I...Kris, what do you want?” Adam asked tearfully, his eyes pleading with Kris to give him some answers.

“You,” Kris whispered, “That’s why I came here. I wanted to explain myself and then throw myself at your feet and beg you to forgive me and if you could...to take me back,” Kris dropped to his knees in front of him, “Adam, please, please forgive me. Forgive me for breaking your heart, for turning my back on our love, for being weak and denying you. Please Adam, I...I love you. I’ll always love you. Only you. Adam...,” Kris stopped, his voice shaking with emotion.

Adam didn’t want Kris to do that. He fell to his knees and took Kris’s face in his hands, “Of course I forgive you. I love you. I always have and I will forever. You’re everything to me Kris.”

“Oh Adam,” Kris whispered and took Adam in his arms. Adam collapsed. He was safe again. He was loved again. He was at home. Kris’s arms were home. Kris loved him. Kris had told the truth...given up everything for him. Kris held Adam tighter,

“Shh, please don’t cry Adam,”

That was when Adam realized that he was crying. Kris’s breath tickled Adam’s neck; his hands rubbed Adam’s back. Kris pulled back slightly and wiped away Adam’s tears. Adam smiled and so did Kris.

“I love you,” Kris whispered, and then he kissed Adam. Adam sighed slightly and let his hands find their way into Kris’s silky soft hair. He loved the feel of his hair under his fingers.

It was like they had never been apart. Kris sucked Adam’s bottom lip between his own, and Adam opened my mouth. Kris’s tongue touched Adam’s, then explored, his hands tightening around Adam’s waist. Adam had never forgotten the way Kris tasted. After a few moments, Kris broke away and smiled at Adam. He ran his hands through Adam’s thick black hair and rested his forehead against Adam’s.

“Adam…”

Adam nodded, answering his unspoken question, “Yes, Kris.”

They stood up and kissed again. Slowly, not wanting to rush things, Kris’s hands found their way under Adam’s shirt and up his back. Adam broke the kiss and removed it. Kris did the same. They kissed again, more hungrily this time. Kris’s hands moved to Adam’s jeans and unbuttoned them. Eagerly, Adam stepped out of them. Soon they were both naked. They tumbled into bed, kissing and touching.

“Oh God Kris,” Adam moaned softly. Kris lay on top of him, kissing his neck and stroking his cock.

“I’ve missed you so much Adam,” Kris whispered, “I missed kissing your hot mouth, sucking your neck, licking every inch of your sweet skin.”

Adam moaned, Kris’s words and hot breath sending chills all through his body. Kris’s fingers teased him, stoking him swiftly and then pulling back to tease the tip of his cock.

“I missed your mouth on my cock, sucking me. God Adam, do you even realize how good it was?”

Adam moaned again. Kris licked his nipples, sucking them gently.

“I missed feeling you inside of me Adam.”

Kris stopped his sweet torture and looked up. He moved and lay completely on top of Adam and rocked his hips slowly against Adam. They both moaned slightly at the feel of their cocks rubbing together. Kris looked into Adam’s eyes, kissing him lightly and whispering, “Adam, make love to me. I need to feel you inside of me.”

Adam put his hands on the back of Kris’s neck and pulled Kris down against his mouth. They kissed hungrily, devouring each other’s mouths. Adam wrapped his other arm around Kris’s waist and rolled them over so he was on top. He pulled back and looked down at Kris. Kris reached for Adam, his fingers tangling in Adam’s hair. Adam kissed him again deeply.

“Oh Adam,” Kris moaned breathlessly when he pulled back, “Adam...baby, you’re so beautiful,” Kris whispered as his fingers caressed Adam’s cheeks, his neck, behind his ears. Adam shut his eyes, lost in Kris’s feather-light touch. Those delicate fingers brushed his lips. Adam’s tongue darted out to lick them. He captured Kris’s index finger between his swollen lips and sucked it into his mouth. He opened his eyes and watched Kris’s face. He was panting, his face flushed, his brown eyes blazing. Adam could feel how hard Kris was, and he wanted to give Kris what he wanted...what he wanted himself too.

“Kris,” Adam whispered.

Kris understood, “In my bag,” he choked out between gasps for air. Adam left the warmth of his embrace briefly to retrieve what they needed, and then he was back, kissing and touching Kris. He slid his lube-covered fingers between his legs, stopping briefly to tease his erection. He wrapped his hand around the back of Kris's neck and kissed him deeply as he slid one finger inside of him. Kris grasped Adam shoulders tightly and arched his hips upwards. Adam swallowed his moans, pushing his finger in deeper and then adding a second one. Kris's hands moved wildly up and down Adam's back and then tangled in his hair.

"Oh Adam, please...now," Kris begged. Adam needed it as badly as Kris did. Kris took the lube and began working it onto Adam's hard cock. Adam moaned at his touch, his lips finding the sweet-tasting skin of Kris's neck.

Adam pulled back and looked into Kris's eyes.

"Ready?"

"Yes, please!"

Adam positioned himself at Kris's waiting entrance and pushed in slowly. Kris's face twisted slightly in pain as Adam pushed in further. Adam had always hated that: causing Kris pain. But Adam knew it was worth it for the pleasure he would receive.

Kris pulled his knees up and back, encouraging Adam to go deeper. Adam moved slowly, almost unable to bear the hot tightness of Kris's insides; and then Adam was in all the way. He waited a few seconds, allowing Kris to get used to him.

"Adam," Kris panted, his eyes staring deeply into Adam's, "Oh God Adam...please, yes!" Kris yelled as Adam began moving. Kris wrapped his legs tightly around Adam's waist and his arms around Adam's back.

"Oh Kris, oh...God! You fees so good baby...so tight, so hot Kris, oh...."

Adam thrust into Kris harder, faster. Kris pushed upwards each time to meet him. Kris pulled him down for a kiss, his tongue finding Adam's eagerly. Adam kept one hand around Kris's neck and let his other close over Kris's throbbing shaft. Adam stroked it swiftly, stopping occasionally to press his fingers into the tip.

"Oh Adam, I'm...so close. Baby, you're so good, I...Adam, Adam...."

Adam's name on Kris's lips drove him wild. He stroked Kris faster and thrust deeper.

"Adam, I,-"

"Yes Kris, please...cum now," Adam moaned. Kris's eyes locked on Adam's as Adam thrust into him once more and came deep inside of him. Kris climaxed at the same time, their eyes never shutting or leaving one another.

“I...I love you...Adam,” Kris moaned brokenly as he came, spilling into Adam’s hand and onto his chest.

Gently, Adam pulled out of Kris, both moaning slightly at the loss of their connection. Adam kissed Adam softly and pulled him into his arms.

“I love you too Kris...so much.”

Kris brushed sweaty strands of hair off of Adam’s forehead and kissed him, “I’ll be right back, baby,” he whispered.

“Kris,-”

“No, shh, it’s alright,”

Kris saw Adam’s distress and kissed it away. Adam didn’t want him to leave.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Adam lay back on the pillows and shut his eyes. He heard Kris run water and realized he was cleaning himself off. He stopped briefly on his way back to bed, and Adam heard him rummage around in his bag for something, and then he was back. They lay side by side, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Adam, I have something for you.”

“Ooo, a present?”

Kris smiled at Adam’s wide eyes.

“Hey, I love presents!” Adam teasingly protested with a smile, but his smiled disappeared as Kris gave him the gift.

“I want to be with you forever Adam,” Kris whispered, holding up two plain gold rings, “I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. I know we can’t express this publicly yet, at least not right now, but I...I want us to be together forever.”

“Kris,” Adam whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

“Shh, don’t cry baby,” Kris said softly, wiping the tears, “I got these made in hopes you’d take me back and forgive me. I love you Adam. Will you,-”

“Yes,” Adam replied eagerly, taking a ring from Kris’s hand. He looked at it closely and saw it was engraved on the inside. It said, “Kris’s.”

Adam looked at Kris and Kris showed him the other ring. It said, “Adam’s.”

With shaking fingers, Adam slipped his ring on, unable to stop staring at it.

“You see Adam, I’m yours and you’re mine...forever.”

Adam kissed Kris softly, all the while tears flowing down his cheeks.

“Don’t cry Adam,” Kris whispered.

“I love you Kris,” Adam sobbed, “I...this means so much and I...yes I want to be yours forever.”

“I love you too,” Kris kissed Adam again and then wrapped his arms around Adam. They held each other tightly, drifting off to sleep easily in their warm embrace.

 

_* Jennifer Paige ft. Nick Carter – Beautiful Lie_  



End file.
